before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I have feelings that need drinking.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
