was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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