Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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