They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
