So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
