when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
