How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
