His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
