you guys were way drunker than both of me
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
