Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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