We won't sleep together?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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