all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
