She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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