Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
