He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
