and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
