remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
