I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
This couple is walking their pig around campus
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
