I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
