You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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