Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
