I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
If you need anything just hit me up