She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
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If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
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there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?