he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.