Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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