He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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