guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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