Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
