I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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