I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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