never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just invented taco cereal.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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