yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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