Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
