I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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