i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
