erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
