what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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