okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
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battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
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That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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