okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
