you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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