so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
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This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
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Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize