Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I wish life had little blips of pornography
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
