The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
They took my balls.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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