So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
