He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
