I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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