How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize
