Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
