I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
