yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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