i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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