I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
