I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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