a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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