Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
