It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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