I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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