life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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