She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Are we still banned from the library?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
