i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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