i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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