He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
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he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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