I wannas sexs uuuuu
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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