I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
