thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Success! We fucked roommates!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
