burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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