Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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