i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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