i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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